Rebuilding Trust After Gambling
When a gambling addiction has hurt a relationship, trust can feel impossible to rebuild. Secrecy about money may have already broken bonds of caring. If you’re in recovery, rebuilding trust with a partner or family needs to be practical: living so they can see the difference, rather than relying on promises alone.
Here’s how to start rebuilding trust after a gambling addiction:
Tell the Truth About the Money
The first step in rebuilding trust after a gambling addiction is making the money situation completely visible. Stop secrecy and hiding debts. Deal with them rather than ignoring them.
The National Health Service (NHS) recommends contacting National Debtline for help with debts. They can look at budgeting options, dealing with indebtedness and negotiating with creditors.
Combined with this, the NHS advises:
- Setting up direct debits or standing orders to pay important bills like the mortgage on payday, before [gambling].
- Contacting the bank to block money going to gambling websites and apps.
- Using GamStop to stop use of gambling websites and apps for six months, a year or five years.
It’s not about trying to trust that you won’t relapse. It’s about creating a default that helps recovery in a way anyone can see.
Put Barriers Between the Person and Gambling
When rebuilding trust, the focus should be on making gambling harder to access. It’s not about proving you can resist - it’s about actually leaving gambling less appealing, and everyday life more so.
The above NHS steps are all about creating extra steps. Adding multiple layers of control stops gambling becoming easy to access in the first place.
People in England can also:
- Self-refer, or ask a GP, to a NHS gambling clinic near them
- Contact GamCare’s National Gambling Helpline, which is staffed 24/7
- Sign up to GamStop, an online programme that blocks access to gambling accounts for set periods of time
Bring in Outside Support for the Person and the Family
Rebuilding trust after a gambling addiction isn’t just about the gambler. GamCare says that people in recovery need to get the problem under control, or they will find it hard to get out of debt and stay out of debt in future.
It’s not about the person just promising not to gamble or spend. It’s also about creating a habit of sharing and acting visibly. Can you make a point of letting your partner know what action you’re taking this week through the services above? That means they can see some recovery, even if there are ups and downs to come.
GamCare also says it provides:
- One-to-one information, advice and support for anyone affected by gambling, including family and friends
- A safe, anonymous, confidential chatroom for family and friends of gamblers
- A 24/7 National Gambling Helpline for anyone affected by gambling, including gamblers, friends and family.
NHS England itself describes the National Gambling Helpline as “providing information, advice and support for anyone affected by gambling harms, including family and friends.”
Keep the Plan Practical, Bring in Support and Use It Together
Every hidden element of a gambling problem undermines trust. So the plan to rebuild it should involve making gambling less available, and everyday life and obligations completely visible.
Tell your family or partner when you’re going for support, and when you’re taking steps to restrict your own access to gambling. Talk about how your debts are being handled.
The NHS advises that people who gamble need to:
- Contact the National Gambling Helpline 24/7 for information, advice and support
- Set up a direct debit to pay important bills on payday, and block transactions to gambling websites and apps
Make life less about relying on willpower alone. And more about sharing, securing, and going about everyday life while recovery happens alongside it.
Lower Risk, Engage Recovery, Take Action
When a gambling addiction has betrayed trust - building it back in involves practical everyday arrangements that a partner or family can see. Tell the truth about money, and make gambling harder to access.
Some of the clearest practical actions you can take are:
- Contacting the National Gambling Helpline, open 24/7 from GamCare to get support
- Signing up for GamStop to block online gambling for 6 months, 1 year or 5
- Agreeing to pay important bills first through direct debit, and asking the bank to block payment to gambling sites
- And contacting National Debtline to sort out debts, with your partner or family aware of what’s happening
Getting our money inline with recovery is the safest and the surest way to build trust.
The National Gambling Helpline is free and confidential, open 24 hours a day: 0808 8020 133. More options on our help page.
